Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
