You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
