I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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