she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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