I wanna passion pit in your ass
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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