So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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