Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
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You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
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well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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