So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
