Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
