she peed on how many people?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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