I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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