The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
