I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
