just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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