I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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