You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
