I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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