I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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