if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
