you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize