Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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