sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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