found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
from now on my penis is your penis
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.