I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
You are a booty call, not a friend.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops