when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
