The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
