i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
