so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
