Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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