toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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