I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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