I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
