Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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