Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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