my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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