living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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