Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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