Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
if only i could text you this smell
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
MIDGETS
????
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Randomize
