Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
