i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
When did angry sex become our thing?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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