You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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