Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Randomize
