Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize