Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
