Duck Duck Cougar?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
