Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
