i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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