I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize