There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
