Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
