I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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