he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
