I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
