Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
