my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
