i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
