Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
