we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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