i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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